Postcard #5

“But sometimes I think you just have to leap into the deep end and see what happens…and learn through experience by simply trying things out!” --Lynn Fels.


Jackson Pollock creating by improvising.

I am utterly fascinated with improvisation; improvisation in Jazz music, in painting, and in life. Even role plays and role dramas that we discuss and experience in class have an improvised aspect to it. You never know what it will turn out to be. The performative inquiry we talk about is ultimately about improvisation. We can only plan so much, we have to be willing to accept and expect the fluidity of life. No one has a crystal ball, and if anyone did what would be the fun?
I, as a music teacher, plan my lessons somewhat but what actually happens in my classroom, I cannot plan. As I can teach up to seven different classes on any given day, what I end up teaching has so much to do with how I’m feeling, how one particular class is feeling, and what the students bring to the class. Frankly, I love the impromptu lessons. I am very lucky to have this freedom as a teacher. I just love talking about music, dancing to great bands such as Earth, Wind and Fire, listening to wonderfully lyrical playing by such sensitive pianists as Ellis Marsalis; I hope that my enjoyment of music rubs off onto my students. I understand that I’m not teaching my students to become musicians but as music appreciators. Providing opportunities to experience, engage, relate and have fun with music, what can be better?
Jackson Pollock, a Jazz lover, listened to Jazz when he was creating his master pieces. How fascinating! His interpretation of jazz improvisation is exquisite. It is exhilarating and inspiring to think of Jackson Pollock in his studio creating wonderful art listening to Jazz giants like Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis, and Charlie Parker.
Improvising is like “jumping in to the deep end.” One must try it and see what it’s like. You will definitely “learn.” Jackson Pollack jumped in. Many artists jumped in, and are still jumping in. It is not easy to jump voluntarily, but once you try it you cannot stop. Fortunately, it is highly addicting.

My Purging Week 1

I am very happy to report that I have done quite well with my purging week this week.
Starting with Nicholas' clothes (re: Postcard #4) on Monday, and continuing on with going through toys, re-organizing the garage etc.

By the way, our single car garage is really an extension of our house. It's really a storage/mud/catch-all room. It's real handy to have, but real easy to cutter it up. Anything that doesn't fit in the house goes to the garage. =(

I gave away a few toys to Audrey's daycare, and to church, and organized some of the toys. This weekend I plan to goes through more stuff. I realize this purging process is going to take some time as I have so much to go through.

I admit and say it out loud! It's been two and a half years since we've been in this house and there are some boxes that have not been touched! I promise I will open the boxes and go through them!

Did I ever mention that I have the most amazing kids in the world? They are the joy of my life. I am truly blessed.

Learning

I've tried to learn how to upload videos on YouTube but wasn't successful. I'm not sure what I was doing, or what I wasn't doing, to make it come up on YouTube. More fiddling would be needed I guess. Grrrr....

Postcard #4

Picture of Nicholas taken at age 3 (Spring of 2007).

Then one day all too soon

she’ll grow up & she’ll leave her doll and her prince & her silly old bear.

When she goes they will cry

As they whisper good-bye

They will miss her I knowbut then so will I.

Except from “Waltz For Debby”
Music by Bill Evans and Lyrics by Gene Lees



Today I went through some of Nicholas’ clothes that are too small for him. They are hand-me-downs from his older brother, Benjamin. These clothes jog many fond memories for me. But today, I folded them up neatly and packed them in a box and sealed it. It was a bitter-sweet moment as I was de-cluttering and organizing his closet, but also packing away a part of his life. Perhaps this is why it’s taken me so long to organize his clothes; because I didn’t want to admit that my little guy is not so little anymore. As children grow fast, generally people buy bigger clothes for them rather than the right size so that children can wear it longer. But sometimes, I find myself buying clothes that Nicholas can only wear for a short period of time. Afterwards I’m a bit annoyed with myself as I feel as though I’ve spent money for the clothes which will not last very long.
Going through his clothes today and packing them away was like, as I mentioned before, closing that part of his life. Nicholas is in Kindergarten now and he is not a little boy anymore. Perhaps I’m in denial or not ready to face the next stage of Nicholas’ life. It’s been hard at times to see my young children grow, I realize that they are still very young, however, they change and to see that happen, when it hits you, it’s not easy. Performative inquiry as “knowing, being, doing, and creating,” I feel that I did that as I was packing Nicholas’ clothes today. I understand, and will be more willing to accept when I am at this kind of a junction, that I perhaps was creating a new phase for Nicholas. I knew what to do, I was doing the task, I was being the mother-organizer, and I was creating a new space physically and emotionally for Nicholas and myself for many more loving memories.

Postcard #3

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. ~Charlie Parker

Music is a big part of my life. My dad was a professional popular musician in Korea in the 1970’s and my mother, who plays the piano and sings, is very musical as well. So needless to say, I had much music around me all my life. I guess I can say my life so far has been, and continues to be, a performative inquiry on what music is to me: a way of knowing. Sure, some people, commonly called “prodigies” show much talent and insight at a very young age. However, for most people, and also definitely for those prodigies, by living the life, you become who you are and your art form forms itself as well. The art form does not exist without your presence, without your knowledge, without your soul. You are who you are because of who you are. You who have gone through all that you have gone through… and here you are: a beautiful art form.
Here are Charlie Parker (alto saxophone) and Miles Davis (trumpet) during a recording session sometime in the 1940’s. They lived their life searching, discovering, learning, and inventing music most notably the jazz style, bebop. All the things they experienced and learned as individuals collectively became one of the most valued and respected music of all times. Performative inquiry, as a way of “knowing” and knowing through “doing,” the artists become the art from. They know as they do, and do as they know. That is how they find their craft and their voice. As Parker and Davis, and many other great musicians/artists, are the art form as musicians, they have become the performative inquiry. Alive/living. It evolves into other peoples’ performative inquiry.

Postcard #2

My most memorable “Wide-Awake” moment: reflection on M. Greene’s article and the class exercise with chairs.
March 14, 2001. I was 6 days past my due date with my first child. Earlier in the day, I was at the hospital having a procedure done to be induced the next day. It was quite a painful experience. That evening, I anxiously sat in the rocking chair which was bought for the new baby, and was reflecting on what the day was like, how I had carried a child for 9 months, and what it would be like to actually give birth and be a mother. Words cannot fully describe what I was feeling that night.
Everybody is born through labour and birth, and if you have a child you have given birth. I was in awe, and was overwhelmed with much respect and wonder for human beings especially women. For as long as people have been around, this is how people were born, through childbirth. Thinking about myself doing the same continuing the legacy, I felt so empowered and humbled at the same time. Tomorrow, I was going to have a very personal experience, yet also a very universal one. I felt that I was going to make a mark in this world and also find my place in the universe.
Benjamin Russell was born March 16, 2001 at 1:37am after 17 hours of labour. He was 7lb 7ozs and 21.5 inches long. He was beautiful.
My motherhood began in this rocking chair that I sit and rock today. Being in the league of mothers; I am profoundly grateful and proud.

Postcard #1

Sisters…. How I wish I had one.
It was very nice to pretend that I have sisters during a class exercise. Sisters who look out for each other and care for one another; to have one would be great. My mom has three sisters and she says that not all sisters are what you want or think. I realize no situation is perfect. I guess you can have friends who are like sisters.
Perhaps I want a sisterly-kind of a relationship; a close relationship. My yearning for a close-knit family is perhaps what I am looking for.
I am very grateful for my daughter, Audrey. I hope and pray that she and I can have a good mother-daughter relationship.
Relationships are definitely one of the hardest things to work on and can be one of the most rewarding things in life. Everybody has different needs, circumstances, and expectations. Anyone who has a fulfilling relationship with another is truly blessed.
Here’s to a good-communicating, commiserating, and loving relationship,
Kyu Min

Alas! My blog.

Hello out there.
Here is my blog!!! Ta-da!

I'm not sure what I'm going post or find out but here it is.
It is a start, a definate start.