Postcard #11

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

On Easter Saturday, at the Easter Vigil Mass, my husband received three sacraments; Holy Baptism, Holy Communion, and Holy Confirmation. And because of his baptism, our marriage became a sacrament as well. It was a most humbling experience. It has taken us 4 years to get to this point (many trials and tribulations worth a separate postcard.) We couldn’t have done it without the prayers and support by our church community.
To celebrate this joyous event, we had our parish priest and my husband’s sponsor/Godparent and his wife to our home for dinner. John and Megan Crawford are in their late 70’s so they are physically very frail but very intellectual still. John had received the Order of Canada for his work in gerontology. It was my first time meeting them in person. I was so very fascinated with their stories of their life.
I have a great sense of respect and appreciation to older people. Many of my friends are older in their 50’s and 60’s. I belong to a book club whose average age is 60 excluding myself (the ladies are all retired). I love old music especially from the 30’s, 40’s and the 50’s. I’ve been trying to figure out why this is for a while. I don’t have a good answer yet.
I do not wish my life away of course, but I do look forward to my golden years. I also look forward to possibly living in a senior home. Being in a community of people and having meals cooked for you, I think I would enjoy it very much. Being old is a privilege. You were given the opportunity to live your life, gain wisdom, and learn about things, and really enjoy them.
I’ve often heard when I was younger that I was very mature for my age. I felt this was true. I’ve always related well with “older” people. My husband is 13 years older than me. I guess it is who I am. I am an older soul. I worry about these people who are going to leave me sooner or later. Or course this is the way of life, but what will I do without my old friends. I ponder this probable loneliness. However, when I am old, I shall look forward to being found by a younger person like me.
Here is a picture of Mother Teresa. This picture of her symbolizes old age, charity and Catholicism.

Postcard #10

People have taken time out of their day and spent their money to come sit down at a concert. And it's jazz music-it's not easy for them to get to it. I don't want them ever to feel that I'm taking their presence lightly. –Wynton Marsalis

This thought came to me when my husband, Chris, and I were having a discussion on music over lunch the other day. We were listening to some beautiful but not-so-familiar classical music on CBC Radio 2, and Chris commented on how many styles and genres of music there are, many of which we know little of. As the discussion went on, I commented on how jazz music is not so “user-friendly.” There can be many instruments semi-improvising simultaneously throughout a piece. This sound can be confusing to some. When the listener understands and appreciates some of the concepts of how the music is created and put together, it is easier to relate to and enjoy the music.
When you are playing a classical piece, you are expected to play every note the way it is written. The musician is allowed some liberty and room for interpretation, but the music is played as written; there is no altering notes or chords. When playing classical music, the musician is using their talent and skills to reproduce the music that is written by the composer. In jazz music, it is expected that the jazz musician play a rendition of the song; even the melody is interpreted and sometimes the harmony. The songs that jazz musicians play are generally well-written pieces on their own. On the great canvases that the composers such as Gershwin, Berlin and Porter created, jazz musicians are given the opportunity to create their own music. Musicians bring their own interpretation of the song with the melody and create their own voice by spontaneous improvising.
Here is a picture of a phenomenal musician both in Jazz and Classical music, Wynton Marsalis. I wonder what he thinks about this idea.
Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

Postcard #9

Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame! -William Butler Yeats

As I was driving Rebecca and myself up to SFU for our class and presentation, a car came and hit us from behind. Being rear-ended is like a forceful push/encouragement to move ahead in a moment of stillness. However, it is the opposite that happens; you don’t go ahead you stop. Because of the force we were stopped on the road for a good half hour.
My last postcard reflection was on being vigilant about taking the time to enjoy the moments. Naturally, I didn’t enjoy the moment of being hit by another car, or the moments shortly after. However, because of it, with some soreness in my neck and back, I was able to take a few days off from work and rest at home, be with my family, and enjoy these moments. It’s interesting what unfortunate things can bring.
Our Performative Inquiry on oppression went very well. There were many things that we didn’t plan, but turned out beautifully. I was very pleased with the outcome, and also very grateful for Rebecca and the other classmates for their participation. Both Rebecca and I had to stay attentive to what was going on in terms of peoples’ reaction and where the story is leading us. And with that, we tried to be aware of how we were reacting to the story development as well. It was difficult at times to follow and be sensitive to everything that was going on, but I take that as part of the inquiry as well. Sometimes things happen around you that you are not aware of but it has an impact on your life. The two fairies really did take us to another world where we were provided an opportunity to explore ourselves and our thoughts.
Despite the physical and emotional distress that we had to face earlier in the day, we charged through with much success. Maybe an invisible fairy took us away to a place where we could focus on our presentation, and was helping us get through the night.

Postcard #8

“Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.” –Mr. Peter Stigings

Once in class we discussed about what would happen if we didn’t, or couldn’t, have our personal vehicles to conveniently take us to places whenever we want. I was very interested in this thought. At this point in my life, I think it would be a God-send. With a job, three young children, family, friends, community commitments, and Masters Studies, I often feel that I am being chased by time. Without a luxury of personal transportation, I think that our lives, at least mine, will be much simpler than it is today. We all have ONLY 24 hours in a day.
I enjoy what I do of course. My family, work and studies are my life that I chose. However, I can’t believe how busy my days are. The responsibilities people have now-a-days are different than a generation ago. Most families have to have both spouses work to keep a decent living.
Although I am chased by time often, I must remember to stop and enjoy the moments that I have right now. My Faculty Advisor at UBC, Peter Stigings, reminded me of that every time we met. How important it is to recognize and be grateful for the time you have. It is a short time that we are on this planet we must make the effort to be fully present in our lives and truly live it.

Postcard #7

“It's the group sound that's important, even when you're playing a solo.”
–Oscar Peterson

Picture: Oscar Peterson, piano; Herb Ellis, guitar; Ray Brown, bass.

We as teachers, in many cases, teach and encourage group work as much as individual work. Opportunities to reflect and think on your own, then gather and share your thoughts in a small group, rather than the whole class which can be intimidating, can be very beneficial to many. I appreciate the work we do in class as we are given the opportunities to do that. We are learning how to teach as we are being taught.
Oscar Peterson, a great Canadian jazz pianist, was a phenomenal soloist as well as a group performer as many musicians are. You can create music on your own, but you can create music with others. Music provides that unique opportunity. In Jazz, when you are in a group your individual playing affects the music as a whole especially when you are improvising (soloing). The other players are listening to your playing, so the notes and the phrases you chose to play influence the communal music you put out. The audience is listening to you but also as a group. Music making in a group is about making each other sound good.
As we work in groups and listen and share our ideas, you have an opportunity to learn about yourself. You realize who you are and what thoughts are important to you.
Oscar Peterson has been dead for 3 years. I have forgotten about this. His music is still alive and always will be, and perhaps I haven’t had the emotional time and energy to pay attention to his passing.
We as individuals make up this world. How we are presented as a group and as a global family is significant. We must pay attention to what kind of legacy we are leaving behind as a generation. Environmental, financial, political and social issues are most eminent. We must not forget the decisions we make today may have a significant influence on our future generations. With compassion, love, honesty and respect, we can continue to work to make a positive difference as individuals and as a community.

Postcard #6

“It was magical.” –Faith Veikle, music teacher in Burnaby

Primary Days of Music is a wonderful annual event in the Burnaby School District where all the participating Grade 2 and 3 students gather and sing eight Mass selections, and perform two songs from their respective schools. It was my school’s turn today at the Primary Days of Music. I chose a song called “All I Do Is Work” which is a partner song with “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.” The other song I chose was “Moon River.”
Learning ten different songs and rehearsing them to have the songs memorized is not easy. It is a lot of work for me, and also a lot of work for the students.
Young students never cease to amaze me. How they are able to learn new melodies and words mostly by listening and copying, it’s truly remarkable. When I see the glowing eyes of those singers and how much they are enjoying the singing, I know I’m doing the right thing, and doing the right job for me.
When it was our school’s turn to present our two songs, I was so proud of the way they conducted themselves and how beautifully they sang, especially on “Moon River.” The pleasant sounds of the young voices singing such a lyrical song, it really was magical; our coordinator of Primary Days of Music, Faith, said after the song was over. I could really visualize the moonlight sparkling on the flowing river. Pure innocent voices of young children singing together, it is definitely one of the most magical sounds of our time. I am so proud and honored to be directing them.

Postcard #5

“But sometimes I think you just have to leap into the deep end and see what happens…and learn through experience by simply trying things out!” --Lynn Fels.


Jackson Pollock creating by improvising.

I am utterly fascinated with improvisation; improvisation in Jazz music, in painting, and in life. Even role plays and role dramas that we discuss and experience in class have an improvised aspect to it. You never know what it will turn out to be. The performative inquiry we talk about is ultimately about improvisation. We can only plan so much, we have to be willing to accept and expect the fluidity of life. No one has a crystal ball, and if anyone did what would be the fun?
I, as a music teacher, plan my lessons somewhat but what actually happens in my classroom, I cannot plan. As I can teach up to seven different classes on any given day, what I end up teaching has so much to do with how I’m feeling, how one particular class is feeling, and what the students bring to the class. Frankly, I love the impromptu lessons. I am very lucky to have this freedom as a teacher. I just love talking about music, dancing to great bands such as Earth, Wind and Fire, listening to wonderfully lyrical playing by such sensitive pianists as Ellis Marsalis; I hope that my enjoyment of music rubs off onto my students. I understand that I’m not teaching my students to become musicians but as music appreciators. Providing opportunities to experience, engage, relate and have fun with music, what can be better?
Jackson Pollock, a Jazz lover, listened to Jazz when he was creating his master pieces. How fascinating! His interpretation of jazz improvisation is exquisite. It is exhilarating and inspiring to think of Jackson Pollock in his studio creating wonderful art listening to Jazz giants like Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis, and Charlie Parker.
Improvising is like “jumping in to the deep end.” One must try it and see what it’s like. You will definitely “learn.” Jackson Pollack jumped in. Many artists jumped in, and are still jumping in. It is not easy to jump voluntarily, but once you try it you cannot stop. Fortunately, it is highly addicting.

My Purging Week 1

I am very happy to report that I have done quite well with my purging week this week.
Starting with Nicholas' clothes (re: Postcard #4) on Monday, and continuing on with going through toys, re-organizing the garage etc.

By the way, our single car garage is really an extension of our house. It's really a storage/mud/catch-all room. It's real handy to have, but real easy to cutter it up. Anything that doesn't fit in the house goes to the garage. =(

I gave away a few toys to Audrey's daycare, and to church, and organized some of the toys. This weekend I plan to goes through more stuff. I realize this purging process is going to take some time as I have so much to go through.

I admit and say it out loud! It's been two and a half years since we've been in this house and there are some boxes that have not been touched! I promise I will open the boxes and go through them!

Did I ever mention that I have the most amazing kids in the world? They are the joy of my life. I am truly blessed.

Learning

I've tried to learn how to upload videos on YouTube but wasn't successful. I'm not sure what I was doing, or what I wasn't doing, to make it come up on YouTube. More fiddling would be needed I guess. Grrrr....

Postcard #4

Picture of Nicholas taken at age 3 (Spring of 2007).

Then one day all too soon

she’ll grow up & she’ll leave her doll and her prince & her silly old bear.

When she goes they will cry

As they whisper good-bye

They will miss her I knowbut then so will I.

Except from “Waltz For Debby”
Music by Bill Evans and Lyrics by Gene Lees



Today I went through some of Nicholas’ clothes that are too small for him. They are hand-me-downs from his older brother, Benjamin. These clothes jog many fond memories for me. But today, I folded them up neatly and packed them in a box and sealed it. It was a bitter-sweet moment as I was de-cluttering and organizing his closet, but also packing away a part of his life. Perhaps this is why it’s taken me so long to organize his clothes; because I didn’t want to admit that my little guy is not so little anymore. As children grow fast, generally people buy bigger clothes for them rather than the right size so that children can wear it longer. But sometimes, I find myself buying clothes that Nicholas can only wear for a short period of time. Afterwards I’m a bit annoyed with myself as I feel as though I’ve spent money for the clothes which will not last very long.
Going through his clothes today and packing them away was like, as I mentioned before, closing that part of his life. Nicholas is in Kindergarten now and he is not a little boy anymore. Perhaps I’m in denial or not ready to face the next stage of Nicholas’ life. It’s been hard at times to see my young children grow, I realize that they are still very young, however, they change and to see that happen, when it hits you, it’s not easy. Performative inquiry as “knowing, being, doing, and creating,” I feel that I did that as I was packing Nicholas’ clothes today. I understand, and will be more willing to accept when I am at this kind of a junction, that I perhaps was creating a new phase for Nicholas. I knew what to do, I was doing the task, I was being the mother-organizer, and I was creating a new space physically and emotionally for Nicholas and myself for many more loving memories.

Postcard #3

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. ~Charlie Parker

Music is a big part of my life. My dad was a professional popular musician in Korea in the 1970’s and my mother, who plays the piano and sings, is very musical as well. So needless to say, I had much music around me all my life. I guess I can say my life so far has been, and continues to be, a performative inquiry on what music is to me: a way of knowing. Sure, some people, commonly called “prodigies” show much talent and insight at a very young age. However, for most people, and also definitely for those prodigies, by living the life, you become who you are and your art form forms itself as well. The art form does not exist without your presence, without your knowledge, without your soul. You are who you are because of who you are. You who have gone through all that you have gone through… and here you are: a beautiful art form.
Here are Charlie Parker (alto saxophone) and Miles Davis (trumpet) during a recording session sometime in the 1940’s. They lived their life searching, discovering, learning, and inventing music most notably the jazz style, bebop. All the things they experienced and learned as individuals collectively became one of the most valued and respected music of all times. Performative inquiry, as a way of “knowing” and knowing through “doing,” the artists become the art from. They know as they do, and do as they know. That is how they find their craft and their voice. As Parker and Davis, and many other great musicians/artists, are the art form as musicians, they have become the performative inquiry. Alive/living. It evolves into other peoples’ performative inquiry.

Postcard #2

My most memorable “Wide-Awake” moment: reflection on M. Greene’s article and the class exercise with chairs.
March 14, 2001. I was 6 days past my due date with my first child. Earlier in the day, I was at the hospital having a procedure done to be induced the next day. It was quite a painful experience. That evening, I anxiously sat in the rocking chair which was bought for the new baby, and was reflecting on what the day was like, how I had carried a child for 9 months, and what it would be like to actually give birth and be a mother. Words cannot fully describe what I was feeling that night.
Everybody is born through labour and birth, and if you have a child you have given birth. I was in awe, and was overwhelmed with much respect and wonder for human beings especially women. For as long as people have been around, this is how people were born, through childbirth. Thinking about myself doing the same continuing the legacy, I felt so empowered and humbled at the same time. Tomorrow, I was going to have a very personal experience, yet also a very universal one. I felt that I was going to make a mark in this world and also find my place in the universe.
Benjamin Russell was born March 16, 2001 at 1:37am after 17 hours of labour. He was 7lb 7ozs and 21.5 inches long. He was beautiful.
My motherhood began in this rocking chair that I sit and rock today. Being in the league of mothers; I am profoundly grateful and proud.

Postcard #1

Sisters…. How I wish I had one.
It was very nice to pretend that I have sisters during a class exercise. Sisters who look out for each other and care for one another; to have one would be great. My mom has three sisters and she says that not all sisters are what you want or think. I realize no situation is perfect. I guess you can have friends who are like sisters.
Perhaps I want a sisterly-kind of a relationship; a close relationship. My yearning for a close-knit family is perhaps what I am looking for.
I am very grateful for my daughter, Audrey. I hope and pray that she and I can have a good mother-daughter relationship.
Relationships are definitely one of the hardest things to work on and can be one of the most rewarding things in life. Everybody has different needs, circumstances, and expectations. Anyone who has a fulfilling relationship with another is truly blessed.
Here’s to a good-communicating, commiserating, and loving relationship,
Kyu Min

Alas! My blog.

Hello out there.
Here is my blog!!! Ta-da!

I'm not sure what I'm going post or find out but here it is.
It is a start, a definate start.